my people

i want to kill they said
i said what
i don't know
anything

i want to live somewhere they said
i said where
i don't know
anywhere but here

i want to hurt they said
i said why
i don't know
i have no other way

i want to dream they said
i said do
i don't know how
i am also afraid too

i want to laugh they said
i just smiled
it comes out wrong
and i feel bad

i want to change they said
into what i asked
someone better than all the rest
but i still feel the same

i want to feel what's right they said
then read people's hearts i said
but people run from me
and i feel alone with them

i want to help you help me they said
so why pretend i said
because someone's always watching
making sure i live for them

i want to run and hide from all this they said
and i gave them some shoes
too small, too big, wrong color, wrong price...
gifts given are reasons forgotten...

i want to breathe the breath of free will they said
than you should climb the tallest tree
sing a song that birds will steal from you
but i lost my soul they said

i want to eat and sleep and never wake up they said
then don't blink anymore...and pretend to be a child again
i have forgotten all i did once know about that they said
...and i paused...not knowing what to say next...

time passed...all i hear now is the wind passing through trees...
and the leaves that will now sing their song for them...
but leaves fall to the ground too i thought to myself...
and become brittle, fragile, pieces
...small...
that are then carried away by the wind.